Marriage Advice: Evolve or Repeat

Evolve or Repeat. This is my marriage advice.

Think about it. You are two different people, two different upbringings, two different identities. Learning to appreciate and respect these differences can make all the difference. And every marriage has ups and downs. What matters is how you deal with the situations you are faced with. Either you can learn and EVOLVE, or you can continue to REPEAT the same mistakes and run into a downward spiral.

Through my own marriage experience, I can honestly say my husband and I have chosen to evolve. And although our relationship is not perfect, there are three things in addition to my marriage advice that I know can help make marriage or any relationship successful:

1. Mutual Respect
2. Appreciation
3. Humor 

RESPECT:  If there is no respect, it is quite hard to have a successful relationship.  Respect determines how you talk to each other, how you interact with each other and ultimately how you view one another. Kids watch this quite closely. If you don’t show respect to one another, you can bet your kids probably won’t either. When you’re in the heat of a moment, taking a pause, and not responding right away can make all the difference. Responding with a cool head can help foster mutual respect. 

APPRECIATION: Appreciating the good in one another is so vital. Everyone makes mistakes. If we keep dwelling on mistakes, it doesn’t really get us anywhere. I can say for myself, when Amit tells me something he appreciates about me, it makes me want to do it more. One thing we have implemented is having date night once a week and during this time, we tell each other 5 things the other person did throughout the week that we appreciated. This has been such a positive for us…making sure the other person is aware that we saw what they did and that it did not go un- noticed. 

HUMOR:  I know this is overstated but to me, it cant be said enough. Life is short so don’t take things so seriously or personally. LAUGH!  Let things go! 

‘A good marriage isn’t something you find, it’s something you make, and you have to keep on making it.’   

Written by: Neeru Kalra. Born and raised in Toronto, Neeru moved to Chicago 9 years ago after she got married. She’s an Attorney by profession, who practiced for a few years and then decided to slow down. With a passion for acting – mostly as an Indian Aunty, Neeru enjoys conversing about spirituality and self growth, loves meeting new people and connecting with others. Follow Neeru on Instagram @neerlifeexperiences.