A letter to my oldest child

oldest child

To my oldest child,

Sorry because sometimes I forgot you are still a child after having your brother.  When you were born I did everything for you, like any first time mom.  I worried if you would get hurt on the playground or if the temperature in your room was 1 degree too cold.  Once your brother came along I started focusing on the fact that being older means you need to act like an adult…which is so not true.

Sometimes I tell you to watch your brother and when something happens, I blame you because you were in charge.  That is not fair. 6 year olds should not technically be in charge.

It is harder to admit then I realize but I do realize it.  My expectations for you changed so much once you had siblings.  Of course there are responsibilities with being an older sibling, but often times I let my stress and frustrations out on you because I expect you to act 10 years older than you really are.

The other night after I had a long day and just needed a moment, you were there for me.  Not because you were acting 10 years older, because you were being the 6 year old you are.  You turned on Justin Timberlake’s song  “Can’t stop the feeling” and just started dancing silly like a 6 year old would.

You didn’t act out, you taught me to just let it go and have fun.  You made me smile by being a 6 year old, not this overly responsible perfect 6 year old I sometimes expect you to be.

You not only made me smile, you made the whole family smile.  So thank you for staying true to who you are and looking past my expectations of you being the 6 going on 16 child.  You are a great big brother!

To all my mother mommas of 2 or more, this situation happens more often than not.  We just have to be thankful that we get a chance to learn from our kids too.  

Love,

Mommy

 

2 Comments

  • Monali

    Wow! This one really hits home for me. My 7 YO little girl has to deal with my outbursts and I know it’s not fair. The 3 YO gets away with being “just a baby” while I expect her to be an adult at times. I needed to read this so thank you!!

    • Neesha

      Hey Monali,

      We can’t blame ourselves, it’s just human nature but lucky to have our mom community to remind us of these things 🙂

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