7 Ways To Give Yourself Grace in Motherhood

The mental load of motherhood is heavy.  Parenting a toddler is heavier!  When you mix in pandemic, chaos, and uncertainty — feelings of suffocation arise.  Some days feel so isolating.  Some days are harder and challenging than others.  Most days are chaotic bliss and the hardest fun I’ve had.  Practicing gratitude and mindfulness with my son has supported my well-being in my motherhood journey during the pandemic. I am blessed with a village who seek to understand.

My moms are my backbones and help me realize that it is OK to ask for help.  “Ek saath majbhoot” they say.  My ridiculously supportive husband does equally, if not more than I do.  He encourages me to rest and suggests to not overload myself.  I am grateful. My family helps me raise my son so that I can be vulnerable and uphold boundaries.  And I give myself the grace to accept that help. I encourage existing and new moms to ask for help; to take care of themselves.  Do one thing a day that nourishes your mind — get fresh air, just that alone is so powerful.  Most importantly, give yourself grace.  Giving yourself grace is about being kind to yourself; managing your energy, not your time. Taking a recklessly long shower, a midday nap — yes, NAP.  Be good to yourself. You deserve that. I give myself grace by practicing most of the following daily.

7 Ways To Give Yourself Grace in Motherhood

1. Let calls go to voicemail and don’t respond to texts immediately.  Respond when you’re ready to talk.
2. Tailor your schedule depending on how you’re feeling.  Allow your feelings to show.
3. Open the windows for natural light and fresh air.  Get outside!
4. Take mini-breaks throughout the day to refocus.
5. Leave chores undone (dishes in the sink overnight irks me, and sometimes it is exactly what’s needed).
6. Log off social media during set periods of time aka “social media detox”. Being off from Thursday – Monday does wonders for me!
7. Rest more, and fill your cup first.

Above all, cherish these moments of chaos, with intention of not overcomplicating in motherhood.  I keep routines and meals simple. Every day, I am realizing these moments of togetherness, in the midst of chaos, have been nourishing for my soul.  My son notices my emotions, and it is the most eye-opening, sometimes “oh shit” feeling.  My son doesn’t see me the way I see myself during difficult moments — these littles are so forgiving, affectionate, and resilient. 

He is teaching me to show myself the same compassion. This season of Motherhood is overwhelming, a definite challenging season, yet also my favorite.  I’m enjoying these chaotic moments of bliss and my heart is filled with gratitude for all the warmth and good health for my family.  I am grateful for the people I am blessed to love.  I’ve learned being part of a community that cares is so important.  Paying attention to people and listening to them, always thinking of how to help them and myself. Remember, what seems like trials are in fact blessings in disguise. 

Written by Riddhi Aeron.