I believe in magic…the magic in motherhood. You may call it *signs* *the universe* or, my favorite, *coincidence.*

In January of 2017, I had just finished my 4th & self-declared final round of In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) that had been done in preparation for a surrogate we had not yet found. After multiple embryo transfers throughout the 4 rounds & 0 pregnancy, we felt that the emotional toll the hormones & constant puncture to our hope were taking on me was enough.

We planned to sell our modest one-bedroom, hired a surrogacy agency, and began what we were told would be a many months long search to find a match.

That February, I was walking to my car and was inundated by a swarm of bugs. I ran without looking – only to a hundred LADYBUGS on my car. I took off my backpack to throw in the back seat and saw a couple there and on my shoulder. Then, I realized the swarm of bugs I had run through were also ladybugs that had been hanging on the glass door when I had disturbed them by exiting.

Curious enough, I did a quick Google search. It was definitely extraordinary for ladybugs to harvest in February in New Jersey. But my quick search also yielded popular symbolism of what the ladybug stood for. And one was a sign of fertility. I laughed and sent that energy into the universe, remembering my moments during in vitro fertilization. I had had enough needles and #eggretrieval days and #embryotransfer days. That ship had sailed. Send that energy to all the others who need it and could make use of it, I snidely told the universe. “Send it to my future surrogate!!”, I screamed as I peeled out of the parking lot.

Two months after the ladybug incident, we officially signed & solidified our surrogate – months earlier than we expected.

And a month after that… I found out I was pregnant. Naturally.

I guess the universe had the last laugh. And I was there for it. So magic in motherhood, yes…I am a believer.