10 pieces of advice for my sons

Growing up in an Asian culture it was pretty much the norm that the men went to work and the women stayed home with the kids. Men didn’t cook, they had dinner plated on the table when they got home. The women knew nothing about the family finances, and if there was some sort of financial situation or emergency that needed to be handled, it was the responsibility of either the husband or somewhere like The Kelley Financial Group and their financial advisors to help resolve the problem instead. It was very rare that the wife was called upon to sort matters like this. With the men being away from the home often, he didn’t know much about the likes and dislikes of his children. Times have definitely changed now for the better where the women and men actually share all the duties in the house and enjoy life as a family but I still see it pretty often. I was very fortunate to not have to experience this separation of male and female in my family as my parents worked as a team for most part but it’s just in our culture. Having two sons and growing up in the culture I did, I have 10 pieces of advice that I really try to instill in their brains at a young age. Some of it they don’t get yet, but I hope I can get through to them to guide them in a way of life where they will be happy and positive 🙂

1. Spend time with your own kids: The mom is always there and the mom always knows what to do, but your kids will look up to you as much as they do their mom. 10 minutes of soccer play outside will mean the world to them. Work will always be there but those little one on ones make a huge difference. My son thinks my husband is literally the most amazing person and he does everything he does just to be like daddy.
2. Always include your significant other in family decisions: Both parents should know everything going on about the kids lives as well as theirs. I am not talking about the amount of milk the kids need in the morning, but what accounts you have, what is in your will, what the emergency plan is in the house for various situations. Don’t try to be a “man” and take care of it all because you guys are a team.
3. Be a gentleman: Open doors for others, help where you can. If you see your significant other exhausted in the kitchen, take 5 minutes out of your day to help. Treat others with your heart not your head.
4. Always be open with your parents: This was huge when I was growing up. In our culture we were not allowed to do many things so we hid things from our parents and we did things they would never approve of. Kids are going to make good and bad decisions but that’s what parents are there for. That is one thing we really work on with my older one, to be able to talk to us about anything. Your parents are your rock no matter what but always be honest and open with them.
5. Love yourself: No matter what color skin you have, how tall you are or how fast you can run, love yourself. If you don’t love yourself you will find it hard to love others around you.
6. Stay motivated: Nothing in life is easy, you have to work hard to play hard. Be motivated to always do better and better yourself. As you better yourself you will better others around you too. Once you lose motivation, you will lost a part of you.
7. Let your significant other follow their dreams and support them: Often times we see moms wanting to continue their career but have lost real motivation once they had kids. Support her in what she wants and and give her that push to go for it if she wants it. The more you guys work like a team the happier you will be.
8. Have some manners: With three boys in my house there are constant farting and burping contests! Believe me it’s quite entertaining at first but then after a while it gets gross! Some things you just gotta keep to yourself 🙂 There is a time and place for everything
9. Learn to have fun: When you grow up, there is always going to be stressful situation. Learn to make the best of them and focus on the positives.
10. Don’t lose yourself: We all can lose ourselves very easily, especially once we get married and have kids. Stay true to what your parents taught you and be a good person. You will change with your significant other but don’t ever lose the person you are inside.