about the man that carried me to the toilet

marriage advice


This past summer, my husband and I found out we had to move unexpectedly, (long story), and when they say timing couldn’t be worse, we really felt that.

With a 3-year-old and since I was pregnant again, plus we had people visiting, we were pretty crazed packing up and temporarily moving (until we find our home to buy next year). But we did it, and after a hectic moving day that had aggravated my sacral pain I had been experiencing in this pregnancy, I put my daughter to sleep and made it to my room, but collapsed to the floor. I couldn’t bear the pain. Every time I tried to stand up I felt like screaming. I couldn’t move side to side, could barely crawl. I called his name, I had to use the bathroom and was scared I would wet my pants at that point.

He came in and found me on the floor, rushed over and scooped me up. What are you doing on the floor, what happened, and I sobbed and told him, I just want to go to the bathroom. He carried me, gently placed me on the toilet, helped me in my most vulnerable time and placed me back to the bed, as he massaged my back.

When I was falling asleep, I thought, this is why he is my partner, the man I love, in his imperfections and love, this is why we are married.

I met my husband when we were young, in college and we have definitely had our fair share of trials and tribulations since then. I can’t say that we have a perfect relationship or that we don’t argue. In fact, we just did today about our daughter. But we have an understanding, we communicate, and as my husband always says, we just always have to try our best.

So as my single 30 something year old family and friends ask me, “How did you know he was the one? What should we look for?”

Now I tell them what I know about the man who carried me to the toilet. I tell them that yes, while chemistry and interests are important, that the deep connection is actually from the qualities that are more in line with hearts. It’s not always about the guy that can sway you with his charm. But the one that smiles with his eyes and you know will always be ready to carry you to the toilet, now he’s a keeper. He’s the guy you marry.


Photo credit: Ajit Singh Photography


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