The other day I was making dinner and I said to myself, “uugh this day has been exhausting. I can’t wait for it to be over.” Of course I forget that my 4 year old now hears everything I say and goes “mommy why do you want this day to be over, I thought you love spending time with me and don’t want me to grow up?” That hit me hard and I had to sit and self reflect on that. I left myself only focus on the bad things that happened that day and not the good things that I immediately decided that day was crappy and at the same time now put a negative thought in my child’s head. I mean at that point I was sitting in my beautiful kitchen with an unbelievable view, cooking a super healthy dinner for my family, have two boys who will eat anything I give them, have more love in one room than anyone can ask for and yet I am still saying my day was crappy! Something wasn’t right about that.
Having negative thoughts is human nature and sometimes you just can’t help it but honestly they drain your whole body. It increases yours stress level which in turn affects your physical and emotional well being. Having kids in the picture makes it much harder to always focus on the positives but remind yourself that the more negative you are, the more negative your kids will be.
9 ways to remove negativity in your family life
Embrace Change: You have more control over your life than anyone else. You can always make a change to make yourself better and don’t be afraid to do it. Routines and preferences are great but if something is not working for you, make a change. Possibly make a change to your home? My friend did it recently by having some Calvert County Decks fitted in her garden it refreshed her perspective. Don’t get disappointed if the change does not work, learn from it and try again. Life is all about learning and living in the present. We have had many obstacles in our life and my husband always tells me to face it head on and find a solution.
Smile: I learned this from my 1 year old. He is ALWAYS smiling and it has taught our whole family to smile. When we get home from work, they don’t wanna see grumpy tired parents, they wanna see a smiling face to make them feel loved just like they do to you. Smile more and I promise you will feel happier. Think about when you see your kid smile, it lights up your life..well do the same for yourself.
Take a step away: We all get frustrated, angry and upset but sometimes just walking away from the situation works. If your child is screaming non stop for an hour, walk away from them for 5 minutes. You are allowed to take a moment because if you don’t it will just keep building up in your body. Remind yourself of the positives during your 5 minute away and go back to handle your situation.
Avoid negative friends: You have to only surround yourself with positive people. If you have a friend that only complains about their life you will become that way. You may not think you will but we are human and we learn from each other. Negative people slow you down from achieving your goals and affect your energy level.
Mistakes are OK: As parents we often make mistakes and when we do we get frustrated, upset and overwhelmed. When I was nursing for the first time it took me a while to get the whole latching thing down but the amount of frustration and “i can’t do this” thoughts I had was unreal. Guess what I was trying and that is all that mattered. I chose to nurse and so I needed to do my best and be proud of that. Don’t dwell on the fact that you made a mistake, learn from it and move on.
Be present with your family: As parents we get caught up in the “I have to do this, this, and this, and tomorrow I have to do this.” Umm when are we sitting down saying “I am really loving spending time with my kids right now and watching their smiles?” You may think I sound silly but the majority of us do this. Spend at least 20 minutes a day with the whole family together enjoying each other. Think about how happy you are and how happy your kids at at that EXACT moment. It will make your mind feel so fresh.
Take a break from technology: Our phones have become literally a limb on our body. We can’t function without them, we freak out when it’s not working right and we take care of it like it’s a kid! Walk away for a bit because reading facebook status updates or reading the horrible things going on in the news isn’t helping you. Reading a story about a baby left at a gas station is not going to make your day any better. I’m not saying don’t do it because that just won’t happen, I can’t even do that but everyday take a break from it. Maybe while you are spending that 20 minutes being present with your family.
Remove the word “can’t” from your house: Adults or kids should never say “I can’t do it”. You can do anything you put your mind to and if you fail, be happy you have a chance to try again. If your kids hear you saying you can’t do something, they will internally get that thought in their head that they can’t do stuff.
Breathe: When you are feeling overwhelmed, stressed or frustrated (which happens more often than not with kids), breathe. Take deep breaths in and deep breaths out and relax your body. I have done this numerous times and it really calms you down. Not everyone believes in doing yoga and meditation but just simply breathing makes a huge difference.
Remind yourself how amazing you feel when your child smiles at you. Take the time to smile more at them:)