The other night I went to bed probably feeling the most exhausted I have felt in a really long time. Not only was my body physically exhausted, my mind just wanted to shut down. I didn’t even have the energy to sit and enjoy a tv show after the kids went down because I was that tired. So I laid in bed and thought about my day. Sadly I was so tired I didn’t even remember any moments of my day that I just stayed present and enjoyed. This was a pretty crappy feeling and even though I got so much done that day, I felt so guilty that I couldn’t even remember the joyful moments I had with my kids.
I find myself feeling like this pretty often with both my husband and I working full time and having and 1 and 4 year old and I realized I had two choices: To sit here and be exhausted and tired every night and not enjoy my life with the kids because I am too busy trying to prepare for the next thing happening or come to the realization that
“I can’t do it all, it’s just not going to happen”
Motherhood is an interesting culture. We are always trying to tell each other to enjoy every moment with our children, yet we have set this competitive nature in the motherhood culture that we need to do it all. If the mom down the street can work full time and put a home cooked meal on the table every night, why can’t the other mom do that? You automatically get this feeling as a mom to question yourself that you are not doing enough for your family. Regardless if you are a working mom or a stay at home mom, we find ourselves stuck in this common struggle of trying to balance your life while handling the competitive culture of motherhood. So to all the moms out there who try to do it it all, I share this piece of advice I have learned through motherhood:
“The journey of motherhood is not a competition. Each family is given their own path to go at their own pace. Do what works for your family and don’t waste your time questioning what other families are doing”
Even though I have realized all of this, it’s just in my blood to be that type of person who is on the go at all times but what I have learned is to prioritize things that I do on a day to day basis. I have also learned my family dynamic is not the same of any other family so I need to stop focusing on that culture that moms NEED to do it all and focus on what I NEED to do for my family. I try to do what I love and have a passion for rather than do things just to do it. I wanted to let other moms know, its OK to give things up, you are still one hell of a mom! When you prioritize the hardest part is making sure you put time for yourself in there. I am always making myself think that my job is to only take care of my family and don’t need time for myself and it’s been something I have been working on for a while now. It’s hard to accept giving up certain things that used to be so important to you and admitting them to others is even harder. Here are my don’ts..share yours and I promise it will make you feel better!
Accept your don’ts
work on your can’ts
be proud of your do’s.
I don’t get to my chipped toe nails the day the nail polish chips off. I may go days with a toe that has half the nail polish on.
I don’t sit around and read a magazine. Let’s just say I am still on page 15 of my Parents magazine from last month.
I don’t RSVP yes to every invite that comes in my gmail box. Did I before? Yes, but my body was internally yelling at me to slow the “***” down!
I don’t hand write thank you notes! Here is a great way to send thank you notes that’s faster and you don’t waste paper: Quick and easy way to send thank you cards.
I don’t work out every single day of the week.
I don’t make all my meals from scratch anymore or bake my desserts from scratch. In fact sometimes I warm up a frozen Khashi pizza and dinner is served.
I don’t attend all my kid’s parent activities at school. I used to get that feeling of being “that mom” but I now realize I just can’t ALWAYS GO.
I don’t host as many dinners at home as I used to. I loved doing this but with our day to day schedules it was getting way to much. I try to save my weekends for this.
The list could go on forever but remember moms: motherhood is not a competition!
“Slow down and enjoy life because your kids will grow up before your list of motherhood chores get done.”