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don’t lose yourself in parenthood
That adrenaline rush you get when someone can officially call YOU mom. The permanent smile and the feeling of numbness that it’s not real. That is the feeling of happiness.
Then you leave the hospital and you are basically a hot mess. Still in awe that you brought this amazing person into this world but on the flip side you are sitting there with no food in your body, no idea how to feed this baby and about 2 hours of sleep. Wouldn’t trade it for the world.
In that state of craziness we often times as mothers lose ourselves. We begin to doubt ourselves and question ourselves if we are doing things right. We begin to make ourselves believe that our ONLY job in life is to take care of these kids. That we need to be with them ALL the time. Between the intense emotions, the lack of sleep or even the stress of managing day to day activities with older kids, we lose ourselves. Take a minute and ask yourself:
“Am I anything like who I used to be?”
“Do I even know who I am anymore?”
“Have I done anything in the last few years that is about ME?”
“Outside my family life, what are the things I still do that I love?”
These may seem like silly questions but to be honest many of us don’t want to ask it because we are scared that we can’t answer them. I have been through this phase and it was pretty tough to come to grips with the fact that I had lost myself. My life was my kids and only my kids. I felt guilty if I went to dinner with a friend because my husband was home with the kids. I felt like I could never reach that level of the perfect mom, which of course now I realize there is no perfect mom.
My shopping trips were only at Baby Gap and I had lost my sense of style. Fashion is one of my passions in life so that alone showed me I had gotten lost in parenthood. As I kept asking myself these questions I came to realize how important it was to get “ME” back. Over the next year I focused some time on “ME” and I can tell you I am the happiest I have ever been.
I have a great group of friends, I am doing my best with the kids and my husband and I are taking time to do what we love together. It wasn’t an easy transition as you become so consumed in parenthood the outside world becomes non-existent. Make it into one big world and not just your parenthood bubble. I promise you parenting will seem a lot easier! Taking the time to make yourself happy will automatically reflect on your happiness and patience level with the family.
So to all my moms out there, ask yourself these questions if you realize you lost yourself, work on finding yourself. Nothing to be ashamed of but just a reminder your happiness matters too!
I am not sure what is wrong in being lost in parenthood. Taking care of our child gives us immense happiness. Remember reading that very interesting novel you could not put down, lost sleep until you solved the mystery, snacked on a packet of chips to skip lunch just to get through the novel. We lost ourselves to such things for a short duration. Some times we loose ourselves to our hobbies. Some people loose themselves to work, research…. Because they find happiness and completeness in that. I don’t think there is anything wrong in loosing oneself to parenthood. Just the duration is longer. Enjoy it