my 6 tips on discipling my kids

Being a mom is not easy! There are days when your children are acting up and you just want to hide under a rock or blow up because your nerves are short!  And then there are days where you feel like your children are the best kids in the whole wide world!  We all wish we had more days like the latter, but in reality we all know that isn’t usually the case.  Lately my kids have been so stubborn.  I ask them not to do something, and then they end up doing it, and start to push my buttons! My two older ones like to egg each other on and of course both end up getting in trouble. I’ve gotten to the point where I feel like the scolding, and going to time out is not working anymore!!!So I have tried to change my disciplining rules and these are a few of the techniques I have used:

1. Communicate: Children understand a lot more than we give them credit for.    For example, one day I was yelling at my daughter because she did not put her toys away.  She came up to me and said, “Mommy you do not have to yell, you could have just told me and I would have done it.”  Sometimes we explode because our nerves are worked and we are extremely frustrated having to tell our children the same thing over and over, but sometimes remaining calm and explaining is the better route to go.  Explain to your child the reason they should always pick up their toys.  Whether it is because they need to be responsible and take care of their things or because there are guests coming over and the house should be clean for them.  This method can sometimes go a lot farther than screaming and yelling.
2. Explanation and Expressing your Feelings: When your child does something you don’t like letting them know using words they are able to understand.  You can use phrases like “It hurts my feelings when you…” or “It makes me sad when you…” I feel that expressing your feelings helps them to realize why their behavior is not acceptable.
3. Consistency and Following Through with a Punishment: Make sure you are consistent across the board, especially if you have more than one child.  If you are not, children can become confused as to why their actions were wrong if someone else is doing the same thing without punishment.  Also, following through with a punishment is very important.  If you tell your child your are going to take away a toy or a privilege make sure you do so.  Children are smart and eventually will catch on and call your bluff.
4. Apologies: Teaching your child the correct way to handle a negative situation can be key.  Help them understand why an apology is important and when they should do it.  Show them that it is ok to admit when you have done something wrong.  This will make it easier for them to cope and may even help with future conflicts.  This is an especially helpful tip when you have more than one child.  You can teach your kids to solve conflicts on their own.  I usually have my kids think about what they have done and apologize to one another.
5. When Timeouts no Longer Work:  Timeouts have been worn out in our household.  Lately, I have made my children stop their activity and take time to think about what they did wrong.  This is more effective because they know they must come up with a good answer to the questions I will ask them before they can resume their activity.  You can use questions like “Why was that wrong?” or “Why was that a bad choice?” or “Why do you think that hurt so and so’s feelings?”
6. Staying Calm:  Like I mentioned earlier, it is important to stay calm.  You can still be firm without the screaming and yelling.  Sometimes when we lash out, children can become defensive and start yelling too, or they will act up even more.  If you need to, take a moment and walk away, and approach the situation with a clear mind.  Then you can discuss the situation with your child.

Hope these tips will work in your household because so far they have been working very well for us! 🙂