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to my sister in law
You know, I always wanted a big sister. I have my own little sis and older cousins I was close to, but when I watched Full House as a kid, I sometimes wished I had my own DJ as a sister rather than always having to be DJ herself 😉
When I married your little brother, I know you and I had gotten to know each other through mine and his long dating years. But it wasn’t until we had kids, when marriage had new facets, when him and I matured and we all spent time together bonding as family, that I realized the reasons he respects you so much as “Ben”‘ (our native tongue for big sis). And also how much I adore…our friendship.
You and I can talk about almost anything…from nail polish colors to the drama of dealing with toddlers and teenagers.
It’s almost like the envelope of family allows me to feel safe talking to you when it’s something private. And you are so down to earth, I love that there’s no judgement…even if it’s advice about my marriage to your brother! You give me advice like…a real sister would. Woman to woman.
A close friend said ‘you talk to your sister in law about your marriage?!’ I told her that I know it sounds crazy! But maybe it’s because you are a mom and wife yourself, maybe it’s because you know what it’s like to love him, our common denominator, for who he is. And you also know how stubborn he can be, (haha). Or maybe it’s just who you are that makes it easy.
For example, in the beginning, when you were are around during huge family Christmas gatherings, you would walk up to me and check in with how I was doing, and I always appreciated that (I now love the chaos and fun of those gatherings).
Family is family, but when you know you have similar ideas on how to parent kids, it opens a whole other level of trust. We can trust one another with our kids. I know you love my little ones as much as your own, and vice versa and also have the same values for conscious parenting. And because of our closeness, our kids feel it and feel comfortable being with their aunts.
You know, it takes a village and it’s the best when you jive with the sisters of your tribe.
Plus I just love how we can crack corny jokes and share wine and laughter together.
It’s why when we plan vacations (hey, I will always be happy to be the family designated travel agent) I get excited because I just love spending time as families.
And while I knew how much you and I had in common and how well we got along, as these years have gone by, I didn’t know that I would end up calling you for the things I would ask only an older sister for advice and guidance. I didn’t realize that we would spend hours on the phone, (when we could get that in between the kids), talking away and laughing or crying…or a combination of both at times.
Now I realize that it’s exactly what I have, an older sister.
I heard this quote once: “In life there are milestones each rare and so sweet, sharing with loved ones makes them complete.”
Thank you for opening your heart to me, for sharing in our family milestones as a proud big sister to both of us and for always being there for me when I call you…my sister, my friend.