10 simple rules for 30 something moms

Moms can still be fab at 30: Lose the baggy sweats and shirts because the way you dress really impacts your confidence. Yes your confidence level of rolling out in a mini skirt and a tiny tank top is not the same, especially with all your body changes from having kids. Doesn’t matter, there are clothes out there to flatter any figure; you just need to know and LOVE your body. If you have skinny ankles, don’t go out there wearing ankle boots 2 times the size of your ankles. If you were one of those fortunate to keep your big breasts after the baby, wear something that shows a bit of cleavage not something that screams…look at my nursing boobs to the whole world. Keep yourself maintained.

Girlfriends and Cocktails are still a MUST: Just because you have kids does not mean you need to be in family mode every second of your day. Don’t lose yourself and take time to enjoy what you do. That one sip of a cocktail while wearing a cute dress and fancy shoes kid free makes you feel like a million bucks! Don’t abuse it and be that mom going out every weekend while your kid is with the babysitter, balance it out by making it about you sometimes.

Stop saying “I am so old”: Jumping from your 20’s to 30’s is a huge change, but you are never too old to do anything. Going to bed at 9:00pm on the weekdays does not make you old, it means you are exhausted from your day. Embrace the changes you are going through and don’t make yourself mentally think you can’t do something because you have a family and are old. 30 is YOUNG and a time for you to enjoy every part of your life. I have come home trashed partying with my girls and spending the night on the toilet after I had Ayven 🙂 Did I hate myself in the am? Yes, but did I have a blast and take time for myself? Yes! Have fun and live up every day!

There is such a thing called Career Mom: You have kids so does that mean you have to drop everything you have worked for in your career to be a mom? NOPE! Your professional life is still a part of you that you worked hard for. Finding that balance is a challenge. Don’t become that mom who never sees their child because they want to work all day but don’t become that mom who doesn’t care about 18 hour workdays you put in over the last 10 years. You will have to make sacrifices but find a good balance and choose something you are passionate about without neglecting your children.

Branch out of your friends circle: We all have our “crew” and really don’t want to let anyone else in. Guess what your “crew” will not all get married at the same time or have kids at the same time. You need to be around people who understand what you are going through. Your “crew” will always be there no matter what, but your single friend is not gonna care about your child’s diaper rash. Opening doors to mommy friendships and meeting new people keeps the sanity in your life.

Lose the 20’s gossip girl talk: Don’t get caught up with negativity and gossip. You are a mom now and any negativity in your life means negativity in your child’s life. Find the positive in everything that happens in your day because it will impact your child. Who cares if Sally down the street got in a huge argument with her husband over money, it’s not your business and repeating it to someone does nothing but make you a negative person. Surround yourself around positive people and your life will be so much more easy going.

Don’t compare or judge other moms: The minute you start saying “this mom has no idea what she is doing”, you are only saying it to make yourself feel better about something you went through and that will get you nowhere! All moms go through ups and downs and we all need support and advice not to be judged or told what we are doing is wrong. You never know another moms situation so being negative towards them only hurts them. Moms are their own community of women who unconditionally love their kids. Embrace that commonality and help each other become better moms.

Maintain your body: Being in your 20’s you could eat way less for a few days and get your stomach back, not so much in your 30s. It’s tough to get your ideal body, especially with so much going on in your life. Make healthy choices but don’t overdo it where you don’t let yourself splurge once in a while. The healthier choices you make, the healthier choices your child will make. When going out with the girls, choose a low calorie cocktail instead of 4 beers.

Date night, Date night, Date night: I can’t express this enough. Having kids will make an impact on your life with your partner but don’t totally let it slip. You are in your 30’s, make sure you guys make time for each other and go out in style so you feel good about yourselves. Make an effort to dress up and go to nice dinners because that time does not come very often. Maybe even rent a cute dress from where similar to thevolte.com so you can enjoy the style and save the space in your wardrobe. Don’t just say you are tired and rather stay home…sometimes it takes a lot to get all ready but that breather you get with someone your own age is awesome!

YOU ARE ONE HELL OF A MOM: Don’t let ANYONE tell you differently. We all make mistakes as moms but that doesn’t mean you love them any less. Don’t even let your husband make you feel like you can’t do it because YOU CAN! We have a natural instinct in us to be nurturing, caring and loving. You may have given your child some food they are allergic too, but guess what, you learned from it. You may not know how to potty train but with your natural instincts you will figure it out. YOU ARE AN AWESOME MOM and remind yourself that every day.

Sending love to all my 30 something moms out there 🙂


  • Bhanu Patel

    Neesha, what a wonderful piece of advice, I only wish there was someone to give us this information when we were 30. How true it is and hopefully all moms who are in their 30’s will take the time to do all the things you mentioned.

  • Meetal Desai

    Hey Neesha-

    I think another important lesson is to try and live in the present as much as possible! As a 30 something, we are always worried about the next item on our to-do list, stressed about something at work, stressed in general, OR (like me a lot these days with a 3 year old and a 5 month old)- missing the freedom of my 20s. I realize that I miss amazing moments with my kids if I am not fully present- it is a skill and one I am working on! Great post and amazing site!


    • Neesha

      Thanks Meetal and I think it is a great addition to this list. I know I myself am ALWAYS thinking about what I need to do next rather then enjoying the time I have with my kids. It’s a bad habit to have but very easy to fall into 🙂 I think it’s a great reminder for all moms.

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