10 things your friends won’t understand until they have kids


I remember before I had my first child, I made it to every happy hour, GNO (girls night out), date night, and Vegas trip. But like with everyone else, after having kids my priorities changed. Being one of the first of my friends to have kids I also know how it is to have to defend decisions I made regarding my kids to friends who don’t have them. It can be frustrating for both sides, and hopefully you can relate to or learn from some of the points in this article. 

  1. The weekly happy hours or GNOs are hard to come by.   Even when you plan to attend, sometimes you have to cancel last minute or leave a little earlier because your little one doesn’t feel good or just won’t go to sleep without you there.
  2. Replying to a text ASAP has now become replying to it an hour later, and that’s if you are lucky!! Sometimes a response doesn’t get sent until a day later because you are so caught up with your kids.
  3. Telling your friends without kids that your children are “Your Life.” I’m sure many of you, like myself, have received the “Really? Get a life!!” look from them.
  4. Planning the annual girls trip with your friends. The one you were all gung-ho about and where you lived your glory days as the life of the party, but now are in a serious debate with whether or not you can go, because it would require leaving your little one for the first time. It doesn’t matter if your husband or your parents are staying with them. You will still be hundreds, maybe thousands of miles away in the case that something terrible or extremely exciting happens. Even if you do make it on the trip, you are calling every hour or so to make sure everything is ok, and your friends are all rolling their eyes at you for it.
  5. Sticking to the same routine with your kids is extremely important and even a little difference can create tons of chaos the next day. You know what I’m talking about. When you are at your friends house and 7:45 hits, and you tell everyone you have to get going because if you don’t your child will become some form of a monster. They don’t believe you and tell you to just put them to sleep on the couch, but you know better and still choose not to stick around.
  6. Your friend is on this healthy lifestyle kick and is texting you to see if you are going to make it to the gym with her today and you tell her “Maybe tomorrow.” Because after eight months of having your baby, you are still trying to get your life together.
  7. You have become “The Minivan Mom.” The reaction you get from your friends, when you tell them you traded the BMW for a brand new minivan is priceless because before they have kids everyone swears they will never drive a minivan!!
  8. You remember those deep conversations you used to have on the phone for hours? They are now non-existent and you are lucky if you get fifteen minutes uninterrupted. And your friends without kids wonder why you never call them anymore.
  9. Your friend tells you she just went on a shopping spree and spent way more money than she should have. You tell her to enjoy it while she can and she just shrugs and rolls her eyes at you. If you don’t have kids, it’s hard to understand how much your priorities will change.
  10. The days when you had your friends over for weekly dinner and drinks are few and far between because between picking up the kids from school, taking them to extra curricular activities, making sure homework gets done, etc. your free time has disappeared. That or you are too exhausted at the end of your day.

So to my non-parents out there, cut your friends with kids a little slack because one day you are going to look back and think “Oh wow, they were right!!”


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